


In the Shoes of the Alchemists

by orphan_account



Series: old works (don't go through these) [8]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, ed and roy are so bad at life but their wives keep them in line, ed is such a bro tho, fma, hit you right in the feels, i'm so evil i made them name their kids after dead people, jean wanted a girl with boobs so here u go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 18:28:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4315713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ed and Roy may be married and have children, but that doesn't mean they still can't act like idiots.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Shoes of the Alchemists

**Author's Note:**

> just FYI, i call mei chan/may chang (the little Chinese girl with a panda) may chang, but they are they same person so don't freak out. honestly, so many freaking people think that they are not the same person and i'm like *face palm*
> 
> ANYWAY, enjoy the fic!
> 
> god ed looks so hot with his hair down tho gah

**EDWARD ELRIC**

 Edward lazily walked into the kitchen, thinking of bacon and eggs and pancakes. Instead he finds a tall glass of milk on the table, and a smirking Winry chowing down her pancakes. "Um, what's this?" Ed asked, eyeing the milk suspiciously. "Your breakfast," Winry said simply, taking a sip of her orange juice. "Sorry, I don't drink milk."

"Well then, I hope your ready to sacrifice your breakfast. So sad. And pancakes are your favorite too."

"What?!"

"You know, one must sacrifice something to gain something. I thought you knew this, Fullmetal Alchemist."

"I gave up that title when I got Al's body back, you know."

"Well, as your caring wife, I demand that you _drink your milk_."

"I'm already taller than you!"

"If you don't want pancakes, than that's fine by me."

"GODDAMN IT!" Edward yelled and downed his milk. He slammed the glass on the table. "Now can I have my fucking pancakes?!" 

Winry smiled and gave him his breakfast. 

"Jesus Christ," He mumbled.

\--

Ed grumbled. Why did  _he_ get baby duty? He saved the freaking  _world_ , goddamn it. But nooooo. Winry just had to make him take care Van, his two year old son, and Sara, his 11 month old daughter. He watched as Van and Sara attempted to cover their right legs in tinfoil to be more like their dad. It was sweet, but hella messy. After they had successfully covered their legs, Ed put then down for a nap, mainly because he was tired and needed to clean up the foil before his wife gets home, discovers the mess, and kill Ed. He had just finished cleaning up when Mustang sent him and Al a message on their group chat.

 **roy** **_mustang:**  im boreddddddd

 **edward_elric_is_a_BOSS:**  what r u doing?

 **roy_mustang:**  im at a very boring meeting

 **edward_elric_is_a_BOSS:**  i see. btw, if hawkeye finds out what your doing, she'll probably kill u XD

 **roy_mustang:**  DONT U DARE TELL HER

 **edward_elric_is_a_BOSS:**  dont worry bro. 

 **Alphonse Elric:**  GET BACK TO WORK FUHRER PRESIDENT!!!  
I CAN'T BELIEVE THE TOP MAN IN THE COUNTRY IS SLACKING OFF!!!

 **edward_elric_is_a_BOSS:**  YEAH, MR. FUHRER PREZ. xp

 **roy** **_mustang:**  JESUS, FINE BYE

\--

The black monster from the transmutation circle reached out, moaning and crying. Ed screamed and backed away, and then the black thing turned into the homunculus's father, covered in eyes with a bulging stomach. The father grabbed Winry, who had appeared out of nowhere and shot her, blood gushing out of her chest. Edward screamed, the father laughed, Winry fell to the ground. He began to disintegrate, and tiny black hands pulled at his skin. He was being pulled toward to the light, and a faraway voice kept saying his name.

"Edward? Ed! Wake up!" 

"Hrm? Winry?" He opened his eyes. "Thank God! You're alive!" 

Winry looked at him with worried eyes. "Did you have one of your nightmares again?"

"Maybe." Ed sighed. Winry snuggled next to him. "Don't worry. I'll keep you safe and sound."

"That's what  _I'm_ supposed to say." Edward whined as his wife ran his fingers through his hair. "You hair is getting a bit long. I'll cut it tomorrow. Oh yeah, and we also need to get train tickets to Central. I haven't seen Roy and Riza in forever! And Van and Sara always love to play with Maes." which was Roy and Riza's son. "Yeah," Edward agreed. "But this time, _I'll_ buy the tickets and  _you_  watch the kids."

"Fine," She said, rolling her eyes.

\--

Edward stumbled into the kitchen, tying his hair in a loose ponytail. "Can you help me reach the cupboard?" Winry asked, standing on her tippy toes, try to reach a large bowl. "What will I get in return?" Ed asked slyly. "Why do I have to give you anything?"

"Humankind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is Alchemy's First Law of Equivalent Exchange."

 "You alchemists." Winry sighed. "Fine. What do I have to give you?"

"A kiss would do. Perhaps multiple." 

"Alright, fine." 

Now that she had successfully obtained her bowl, she asked, "Why do you never sleep with a shirt on?"

"I do! It was just hot last night, so I slept with only pajama pants. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. Just wondering."

Edward rolled her eyes. " _Women_."

**ROY MUSTANG**

"Roy?" 

"Yes?"

"Were you texting Ed and Al during your meeting yesterday?"

"Um, no. Nope. Not me. Hehehe..." He trailed off. Riza raised an eyebrow. "Really?" She asked, an a voice that said that she totally did not believe him. "Alright, who told you?! Was it Ed, or Al?" Roy said, unable to stand against his wife's death stare. "Neither. I just know you too well, Roy. Dish duty for a week."

"But the cook washes-"

"Not anymore." Riza interjected. Roy sighed. "I am the most powerful person in the Amestris yet my wife still bosses me around."

"You got a problem with that?"

"Yes-"

Riza intensified her death glare.

"I mean no! No."

"I thought so." She turned on her heel and began to walk away. "Wait!"

"Yes?" Riza said, turning around. "You forgot to kiss me."

She shook her head and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "That didn't count!" Roy said, pouting. "You are  _such_ a child." Riza sighed, but gave him a good kiss on the lips anyway. "You are dismissed." Roy said with a satisfied smile as she walked away. She whipped her head around and gave him a terrifying glare. "Don't order you wife around." 

"Ye-yes ma'am!" 

"Humph." 

"Jeez. I bet Major General Armstrong's scariness must've rubbed off on you."

"You say it like it's a bad thing."

"It is for me!" 

Riza laughed. "Love you sweetheart." 

"I love you too." Roy said, and returned to his paperwork. "Be home in time for dinner!" Riza said, and closed the door.

\--

 **edward_elric_is_a_BOSS:**  hey roy. my fam and i just arrived in central, we'll probably visit you around 5? r u free then?

 **Alphonse Elric:**  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **edward_elric_is_a_BOSS:**  ???????

 **roy_mustang:**  whaaat?

 **Alphonse Elric:**  As you all know, I recently purchased a ring for May Chang. 

 **edward_elric_is_a_BOSS:**  OH MY HOLY FUCKING GOD BRO DID U PROPOSE BROOOOOOOOOOOO

 **Alphonse Elric:**  maybe

 **roy_mustang** : did she say yes?

 ** **edward_elric_is_a_BOSS:**  **of course she said yes, my brother is sexy as hell.

 **edward_elric_is_a_BOSS:**  though less sexy as me, obviously. 

 **Alphonse Elric:**  But yeah, she said yes so come to my wedding! It'll probably be a small one, with a couple people. It'll be at Resembool, on May 11th. 

 **roy_mustang:**  is it because that's when your fiancée was born?

 **edward_elric_is_a_BOSS:** such symbolism! but mine was on oct. 11th, so my wedding had even deeper symbolism. by getting married on the day we burned our house down, i have

 **roy_mustang:**  yeah yeah yeah

 **edward_elric_is_a_BOSS:** hey! dont interrupt me!

 **roy_mustang:** anyway, we'll be home at 5.

 **edward_elric_is_a_BOSS:** swag.

 **Alphonse Elric:** You do realize that no one says that anymore, right?

 **edward_elric_is_a_BOSS:** humph.

 **edward_elric_is_a_BOSS:** anyway, bye y'all. winry is yelling at me to get off my phone.

 **Alphonse Elric:**  No one says "y'all" anymore either.

 **edward_elric_is_a_BOSS:** shut up

\--

"I'll get it!" Maes said and opened the door, his personal butler a step behind him. "Hiii Mr. Edward and um, Mrs. Pretty Lady. Hi Van and Sara!" 

"Hello Maes. Hello Roy; Riza." Edward said as they came up behind their son. "Fullmetal. Winry." Roy greeted.

"Jesus, we have know each other for years, and yet you still don't know my name. How is this man leading the country? Oh right, because his wife-"

"Edward, please set a good example for the kids and save the trash talk for later, okay?" Winry said through gritted teeth, shooting him a glare and exchanging sighs with Riza. They would complain about their husbands later, once Roy and Ed were talking about whatever they talked about, and the kids were off playing, under the supervision of Maes's butler.

The Elric family stepped into the Mustang household and walked to the dining area, where food was laid elegantly on top of the tablecloth. The children were escorted to a smaller table so that they didn't make a mess. The ladies sat at one end of the "adult table", eating their food politely  and chatting about recipes and how their husbands were total dorks. Ed and Roy were talking about alchemy and life and kids and other random crap. 

It was a nice dinner. 

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](http://qiyoan.tumblr.com/)


End file.
